The definition of “pessimist,” according to The Cambridge Dictionary, is “a person who thinks that bad things are more likely to happen or who emphasizes the bad part of a situation.”Ī pessimist is the opposite of an optimist (who is somebody that sees the positives in everything and always expects the best). They will always think bad thoughts and believe that bad things are more likely to happen to them. Generally, pessimists are not pleasant people to be around.Ī pessimist is somebody who refuses to see the positives of situations. Let’s start with “pessimist,” which is the best way to describe someone who is always negative, no matter what. “It serves no purpose.Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right. “It’s about recognizing if you are falling into your loop or someone else’s loops,” Ranaye said. She said to begin paying attention to one’s own thoughts, words and actions. While these tips can help students cope with others’ negativity, Ranaye also had advice on how to avoid becoming part of the negative party. “I encourage people to practice healthy boundaries and in a way that is authentic to them, to be patient and kind with yourself and others,” she said. Hansen said people often become hung up on what is expected of them, and instead of honoring their feelings, they fall prey to what they believe is expected of them. A way to do this is to do what you want, but be polite and positive while doing so. Renaye said this means avoiding any of the same old confrontations. The final tip is to “do your homework and become like Teflon.” This also helps avoid the chance for a Debbie Downer to one-down a person. She said if the Negative Nancy has that information, they often use it to judge, spread gossip and make themselves feel better about their situation. ![]() Do not share any personal situations or struggles, even if times are tough. “It changes everything, when you change and don’t do what you have always done, everything and everyone has to adjust accordingly,” Renaye said.Īdditional solutions include not telling personal stories about yourself. Renaye said by not participating in the negative conversations, it breaks the pattern. Negativity can be dodged by not answering or responding, distracting could be as easy as changing the subject and detouring is used to steer the conversation into a positive area. While it may be easy for us to fall into habit of being negative, Renaye said it is best to not respond to any type of negativity, regardless of personal opinions or agreement with that topic.ĭodge, distract and detour is another one of Renaye’s tips to diffuse a negative conversation or situation. One-downing is the art of coming up with a story that is worse than the one that was just told. “We have these ideas, thoughts or imaginings of how things are going to go, and when things don’t go that way, we are disappointed.”Ī second suggestion Renaye provided is never to say anything negative – this includes one-downing, which is the opposite of one-upping. “I think expectations are a big thing that people get blindsided on,” Hansen said. Jane Hansen, staff psychologist at K-State’s Counseling Services, said disappointment is often the result of a situation where high expectations are not met. We see this picture-perfect commercial of how our family should be.” “We have been programmed by the media and by everyone else. “Walk in with zero expectations and zero agendas,” Renaye said. The first is to have not necessarily low, but reasonable expectations when traveling home for the holidays. If people ever find themselves in an uneasy situation, Paula Renaye, author of “The Hardline Self Help Handbook,” has a few tips. What should students do if they have a Negative Nancy at their family gathering?īrad Jepsen, senior in technology management, said he would leave the person alone. While many students are preparing to travel home for a fun time with family during the holidays, some will have to deal with a relative’s negativity. During holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, no one saves a seat for Debbie Downer.
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